Things have been rough...

Looking back through my portfolio/collection of art pieces, I'm really starting to wonder why I even decided to pursue art as a career. It seems that, these days, everyone wants to go to med school. Even though math and science have never been my strong points, a career in medicine would guarantee me a well-paying job, whereas a career in art is uncertain. Your pay all depends on what the client wants and, if they're not happy with the final product, you won't get paid as much for the job. As for me moving to LA and working in the music industry doing album art, I've decided not to do that. At this point, I don't know where I'm going or what I'm going to do when I finish college. I just wish that I hadn't fucked around in high school and had been able to get into a 4 year school right off the bat, mainly because I wish I had gotten the whole real college experience.

I'm just...not happy. I've lost several friends (some moved away, others got jobs and haven't been available, others I just grew apart from) and I haven't done anything fun with anyone since...I don't even remember. I STILL don't have a goddamn job, so I'm still having to rely on my parents for money. I don't know what's going to happen when I'm away at a different school next year.. I'm lonely, I'm bored, and I just feel like an overall failure. I feel like I've failed myself, my parents, and those around me. I know that everything happens for a reason, but I just can't see what good is going to come from all of this. Even when I've moved out and am on my own, I'll probably be working for minimum wage, barely being able to get by, while almost everyone I know goes on to become these amazing, successful doctors and lawyers. If I could change my career path now, I wouldn't think twice about it.

Considering taking everything down from here, since no one seems to care about my bullshit art anyway.